How to Work w/ Triggers in White Healing Spaces as a BIPOC Practitioner

I was recently at a 3 day workshop for healers.

It is common at these types of events for attendees to share their stories, often ones of trauma and healing, to convey their journeys and what they hope to do with their skill sets.  This particular event had 55 attendees, 45 of them white presenting.

As a Filipina American therapist, born and raised by the American education and health systems, I am used to being in a community like this. One brown face desperately searching for another brown face to reflect me. It was like this in high school, college and in my Master's program. Currently, I am blessed to be in a workplace where 95% of my team is BIPOC.

Anyway, the white people in this workshop loved to talk. They took every chance they got to use up the facilitator - who was an Indian woman - as their healer instead of their trainer. All of her brown girl gems getting soaked up and co-opted so that they could take them back to their caseloads as their own.

At least this was what my body was telling me every time a white person used up 15-20m minutes of our workshop to tell their story. 

I've been listening to people's stories for a long time now. It's my job. 

I can tell when someone has told their story for the first time and hasn't processed it and when someone is telling their story for the thousandth and hasn't processed it.  White people have this interesting ability to tell their stories over and over without ever feeling the weight of their bodies.  They are so disconnected from the emotional impact of their whiteness that I truly believe most white people walk around in a state of dissociation that is far greater than any BIPOC person in America.

It is the only way they can live in the world they created.

For BIPOC, dissociation is a survival mechanism and a way of protecting ourselves. For White people, dissociation is an enabler that allows them to avoid facing the destructive nature of Capitalism, White Supremacy and Patriarchy because it allows them the luxuries and privileges of not having to survive and protect themselves from these systems.

I listen to these white people talk and I have such respect for the facilitator for holding this space. In order for me to get what I need from this facilitator and her offering, I need to titrate myself and sit through the hours of white people sharing just to get a drop of what I paid for....

I am still thankful and grateful for this opportunity and what I learned. But goddamn, I think to myself.... why does it have to be this way?

Here are my tips for BIPOC healers who find themselves triggered in white healing spaces:

1) Breathe. Take deep breaths every time you feel a reaction in your body. 

2) Attempt to coregulate by finding another brown/black bodied person in the room. You do not have to interact with them. Just find them and imagine that they are a reflection of you.

2) Acknowledge that your brown/black bodied experience is being triggered by a white bodied experience.

3) Press that mute button. If you're in person, start doodling or looking over your notes/training material to tune out the person who is sharing. If you're online, literally press the mute button until that person stops talking.

4) Practice discernment. If you feel called to share your stories, do so. If you feel called to call out harmful behavior or ideas, do so. If you feel called to conserve your energy and keep to yourself, do so. You deserve to take up space in these environments.

5) Go back to yourself and your community at the end of the day. Being in predominantly white spaces can be overwhelming for BIPOC individuals and it can be an unconscious reaction (again for our survival and protection) that we do not know needs tending. Practice self care through walking, meditation, journaling, dancing, eating good foods and laughing till your stomach hurts.

I'm saying this because energy is real.

When we are in communal healing spaces with other people, especially as healers ourselves, we can absorb other people's trauma. I am hyper aware of my ability to engage in other people's energy so I am discerning with my energetic boundaries.

When I mute someone out it is not to disrespect them, it is because I do not give my consent to contribute to their healing by listening to their trauma dump at a time I should be skills building.  I am protecting my energy.

I do not consent to be everyone's healer nor do I consent for everyone who is a healer to heal me.

Anyway, that's all I got for ya'll today! I wrote this during said workshop to maintain my energy for an hour as 5 white people talked about themselves. 

If you're a healer, you can book a 1:1 Spiritual Life Coaching Session with me to discuss ways to sharpen your craft against White Supremacy, Capitalism and Patriarchal influence. CLICK HERE to book.