The One Who Shames is a Teacher

A few weeks ago I allowed myself to wallow in shame. I had done something against my values and started blaming people who I felt should have done right by me.

When I realized what I was doing, I began this process of shaming myself: for the words I said, the way I behaved, the choices I made that lead me to disconnect rather than to seek connection.

(And just to be clear… there’s a difference between shaming yourself and someone projecting their shame onto you. That’s for a different time.)

Eventually someone asked me, “what good is shaming yourself going to do?”

Here’s what happened: I learned to sit with the shadow part that was shaming me. She was an older version of myself speaking to my inner teenager, like a mother lecturing a child.

The One Who Shames is a teacher. She makes us feel bad as a lesson. And what was my lesson?

“If you’re gonna put yourself out there like that, then you better act with integrity to your values. What you have done goes against your values. Feel your shame for a second then make it better by choosing a different response and do right by yourself, Lauren.”

I shamed myself into not wanting to make the same mistake twice.

Remember, shame is a transient feeling just like anxiety that alerts you to a deeper issue. Use this signal to create power and magic in places where you previously felt you had none.

Want me to show you how? Book a Trauma Healing Intensive with me here.